The talent available in the 2009 NBA Draft was minimal – after Blake Griffin and Ricky Rubio, it was close to an afterthought for most NBA front offices. Cleveland and Orlando have elected to re-stock their teams through trades, and I don’t think they’re alone in that strategy. Other teams may opt for free agency, but with most teams feeling the heat from an economy going up in flames – we may see the first free agency period where teams are signing players relatively close to their actual value. Although I will miss seeing bad contracts and wondering what the exchange between player and agent was like when the offer was put on the table*. Throw in the deaths of Farrah Fawcett (Wasn’t around, but I hear she single-handedly jumpstarted puberty for any 10-12 year-old boy in the 70’s during her run on Charlie’s Angels) and Michael Jackson (The greatest entertainer of the last 25 years), and you have a completely irrelevant draft. Nevertheless, I needed a basketball fix, so I thought I’d compile some random thoughts on the 2009 draft.
*What did Beno Udrih’s agent say to him? “Beno, the Kings just offered $33 million over six years. Stop whatever you’re doing and get here to sign this – NOW!!!”
Udrih: “Can we get more?”
Agent: “You are a BACKUP point guard at best, and not a very good one. If
With all the aforementioned events of the day, and the fact a nasty thunderstorm was knocking on the door I though I might want to go downstairs in case this was the apocalypse or something. I decided against it, I’d rather watch the draft in HD to see if I could count the liver spots on Dick Vitale’s scalp. Unfortunately he didn’t get enough face time for me to get an accurate count.
Can we agree that Stuart Scott needs to wear sunglasses? It should be in his contract, that lazy eye of his is way too distracting.
Blake Griffin looked shell shocked once the Clippers went on the clock. I think he was upset because he couldn’t track down Eli Manning’s phone number to see how to get out of going to the team that drafted him number 1.
Mark Jackson told us
During the interview with
Stuart Scott became the 452nd person to comment on the game when DeJuan Blair “beasted” Hasheem Thabeet. Let’s think about that for a second before we kill Thabeet. He’s 7’3” and Blair is just under 6’7”. Playing in the post is about positioning and getting low. Thabeet is going to get pushed around by Blair not necessarily because Blair is stronger, but because he is able to get lower. Judging him on that game is not smart or fair – how many times will he guard a 6’7” guy as a center in the NBA? I still think he’s going to be on a lot of different posters though.
Harden may develop into a solid player – but Ricky Rubio would have been perfect to distribute the ball around for OKC. I also thoroughly enjoyed Harden’s bow-tie and beard. Didn’t quite understand why someone at the age of 20 would shave their beard to “look younger.”
Everyone keeps calling Tyreke Evans a point guard – we’re sure about this? He averaged a whopping 3.8 assists last year. Just because someone brings the ball up the court doesn’t make them a point guard. How many games of ball domination will we see from Evans before Kevin Martin demands a trade? I say ten.
Before the fifth pick – Stuart Scott goes over the trade that sent the pick to
Ricky Rubio is going to end up being a great point guard if he ever decides to come over from
Lead team to winning season – make playoffs
Average 10 points and 8 assists per game
Make All-Rookie team/ Win Rookie of the year
Hit puberty
Thought
Jay Bilas said Ricky Rubio looked like a tennis player and expected to get big laughs. I miss Charles Barkley.
After Stephen Curry was selected by
We’re told that DeMar Derozan’s favorite part about
Brandon Jennings was picked at 10, but wasn’t there because he feared his stock had slipped too far. At first I was disappointed because
Can’t tell you the exact number of times I heard “potential” or “raw” in the first ten picks, but it had to be pushing triple digits. For those of you who don’t speak Scout Lingo, that means this draft sucks and most teams are grasping for straws.
Terrance Williams, who reminds me of a skinny Biz Markie, wore a suit so shiny that I swear I saw David Stern’s reflection.
After hearing “overrated” chant after his selection, I thought Tyler Hansbrough might immediately become the white Ron Artest and charge into the stands throwing haymakers.
During his interview, Steve Kerr, who received orders to cut as much payroll as possible, looks as if owner Robert Sarver asked him to take his dog out back and shoot him like Old Yeller.
After the Timberwolves drafted their third point guard of the night, Ty Lawson, I whole heartedly expected to hear about a trade, which happened, or an announcement that their primary target in free agency was Allen Iverson and field a team in the Minneapolis Kiwanis 6-feet and under league.
This move caused Jeff Van Gundy to reminisce about the time his Knicks drafted three similar forwards – Walter McCarty, John Wallace, and Dontae Jones. He admits, “We should have broken it up,” because not all three players could get playing time at the same position. I think they should have broken it up because all three of those players sucked.
One thing that stuck out to me during Shaq’s interview – he didn’t bash his former team on his way out the door. Maybe he is finally maturing at the young age of 37. Side Note: I’m giddy about him teaming up with LeBron, this team is going to be all sorts of fun. They still can’t defend big guards, versatile forwards or the pick and roll, but they will most definitely be more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.
BJ Mullens out of
Darko Milicic was traded to
The Lakers selected Toney
I must admit, I was thrilled when the Cavs got on the clock with names such as Sam Young, DeJuan Blair and Jermaine Taylor still available. Stern took his sweet old time coming out for the pick, causing me to fear for his health. After announcing the pick, I understand he was just calling the Cavs back to make sure Christian Eyenga was actually the selection and not a prank call. He feared for my health as a Cavs fan, that’s why he’s the best commissioner in sports.
After thinking about Christian Eyenga, a no name from the
Patrick Bauch
pbauchxlii@gmail.com
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